Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality
This book was recommended to me by a friend in the business of recommending good books, and once again, her recommendation has turned out to be one of the most important books I’ve read this year.
Washed and Waiting is, at its most basic level, a spiritual memoir of a gay Christian who does not believe the Bible’s prohibition of homoerotic sex is outmoded or culturally bound—he believes homoerotic sex is a sin. At the same time, however, Hill’s experience as a homosexual Christian does not jive with the metanarrative from other theologically conservative Christians that same-sex attraction is a choice that can be changed.* Hill, therefore, practices celibacy.
Here are the reasons I found Washed and Waiting so important:
- Understanding. Conservative Christians are generally told homosexuality is a choice that can be changed or a coping mechanism that can be healed. While this is true for some, it is not true for all or even most people who experience unwanted same-sex attraction. It’s time we stop being so one-dimensional, which generally leads to a lack of understanding and therefore a certain lack of empathy.
- Empathy. As a spiritual memoir of sorts, Washed and Waiting provides heterosexuals the human super power of walking in an other’s shoes. Even for those who can skip number one on this list, the glimpse of the immense and unrelenting loneliness and frustration Hill experiences is invaluable.
- Relief. For those with similar stories to the author’s, Hill’s brave telling of his story is an affirmation and encouragement, if nothing else, that they are not alone.
- Challenge. Washed and Waiting ends with an afterword from Kathryn Greene-McCreight who challenges the church: “Can we [heterosexual Christians] continue to ignore the isolation these brothers and sisters experience within the body of Christ?” The answer, of course, is no.
For a well organized and more in-depth review of Washed and Waiting, click here.
*Neither of these points is up for debate in this post, the goal of which is simply to point to one book; anything else would be beyond the scope and therefore counterproductive here.
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About The Author
Renea McKenzie
(Editor in Chief) is a poet whose work often centers around the relationships between nature and the city, loss and love, faith and protest. She holds an MLA in English Literature and an MA in African American Studies. In between her two Masters degrees, Renea took a "gap year" to study theology at the famous L'Abri Fellowship in Switzerland. L'Abri is also where she read the Harry Potter saga for the first time and fell in love with the characters and the story's triumph of sacrificial love. Renea leads an incredibly talented creative writing group at her church and spends a fair amount of time binging books and Netflix and swing dancing at the historic Sons of Hermann Hall.
We interacted offline and I appreciate your perspective, as always. And I understand you’re making a specific point. I’m still concerned that, in this necessarily brief post, there is no hint of two important balancing factors, which I want to highlight: 1. no discussion of the topic of the Church and homosexuals(ity) is complete minus the acknowledgement of a very warlike struggle for the hearts and minds of all citizens. This is not an internecine issue and cannot be entirely separated from the political / societal struggle. A well-documented PR campaign and propaganda (the authors’ word) has been at work for decades from the gay advocacy side, one that normalizes homosexuality and mainstreams not only tolerance of it, but demands embrace of it. Sadly, those on all sides of the debate seem to either focus on either individual homosexuals or homosexuality to the exclusion of a realistic perspective. 2. The gospel risks calling out sin of whatever kind, so I think Randy Alcorn’s advice here offers loving balance, scope and gritty realism to the discussion. He says it much better than me: http://www.epm.org/resources/2012/Jun/20/randys-advice-apologizing-gay-community.
Thanks, Worldviewest. I certainly agree with your second point. (Your first is a bit to broad. I don’t think every conversation must make the (true) caveat that there’s been a decade’s long propaganda campaign to sanction and sanctify homosexuality (or (almost) any kind of sexuality).) And I appreciate your comments and the Alcorn link, which I think has some valuable perspective to offer. Of course, this text is expressly dealing with the Church’s dealings with homosexuals within the Body, specifically, celibate homosexuals, those who experience same-sex attraction but do not act on it. This emphasis on celibacy certainly stands counter to those who wish to whitewash Scripture, turn vice into virtue, and make the Gospel unrisky.
What do you think about Exodus International renouncing conversion therapy, saying it’s virtually impossible for gays to turn straight?
Hi Annon. Thanks for your comment. According to the Christian Post’s write-up on this announcement, Exodus International no longer supports the claim that it’s virtually impossible for someone who struggles with unwanted same-sex attraction to be completely free from being attracted to the same sex. The story of the ministry’s own president makes their position clearest, I think:
“He [Chambers] has a great deal of understanding when it comes to dealing with SSA [same-sex attraction] because as a young adult he chose to pursue Christ instead of his homosexual urges, and today he is married and has two children.
Although he has personally experienced much freedom through Christ, he says he would not be honest if he pretended that he isn’t still tempted by the same sex at times. Some of his friends who believe in reparative therapy have told him that they can cure him completely, but he says that is not the case.”
NPR’s piece on the reversal focuses on Chamber’s concerns that “conversion therapy does not help. Rather, it damages, because it makes people feel sinful for their natural inclinations.”
So, I believe you have overstated Exodus’s position. Nonetheless, to answer your question, I refer once more to the CP article, which sums up Exodus’s position this way: “Instead of encouraging those with same-sex attractions to simply pursue heterosexuality, Exodus encourages people to pursue Christ”. I can’t think of anything more biblical… for anyone… struggling with anything.
(Read the CP article here: http://www.christianpost.com/news/exodus-international-rejects-reparative-therapy-for-gays-77413/#VPmwLhuUylQfflTs.99)
(NPR’s piece here: http://www.npr.org/2012/07/06/156367287/evangelicals-fight-over-therapy-to-cure-gays)