I forget I’m engaged

Last summer my fiancé’s band played a show.  He had several tasks beforehand so I decided to met him there.  I got ready at home after not seeing him all day and jumped in the car with my roommate to drive to the venue.  When we arrived he met us outside and escorted us through so we didn’t need to pay the cover charge.  For some reason this still surprised me even though it had happened the same way before.

Then, we went to sit in a booth.  My fiancé sat down first.  My roommate walked behind me.  I paused, a bit too long, when deciding where to sit.  I felt everything pulling me to sit on the side opposite my fiancé, where  my roommate could sit next to me because, as it had been for my whole life previous, I thought my place was to sit with my female friend and not ‘the boy.’  My roommate noticed the pause, and I had to say something.  I mentioned it was still weird to sit by ‘the boy’ after a lifetime of sitting by roommates.6838643286_3f44cd1c8c_b_restaurant-booth

This strikes me as similar to our relationship with God. Often I think analogies like this end with, ‘so just rest in God’ as the moral.  That’s not really my point, although it is accurate.  Being engaged to a fiancé most accurately reflects a Christian’s current relationship with God.  The church is described as being the bride of Christ, not yet being married.

Currently still engaged I notice every day the uniqueness of the situation. I don’t always feel engaged.  I don’t feel like I’m almost married.  In many ways my life hasn’t changed yet.  I still have my own place.  I still have my own last name.  I’m not legally tied to him.  Everyone knows we are engaged and everyone knows we aren’t married yet.

At the same time I still have privileges I wouldn’t otherwise.  I’m signing us up for things together.  I put his name down on a variety accounts (wedding registries) and paperwork.  I have a key to his apartment and took over the decorating.  We have a joint bank account for the wedding but still maintain our old separate accounts.

In a Christian’s relationship with God we have access and privileges we wouldn’t otherwise also.  I can access the power of God.  I can rest in His peace.  But it is easy to not always feel that way because just like I don’t yet live with my fiancé, Christians don’t live in the fullness of God’s kingdom.  We still live in a place marred by sin.

It’s easy to forget our position as Christians just as it’s easy to forget that I should sit by my fiancé. I didn’t fault myself for not remembering to sit by him right away.  I realized it’s a process and over time it will get easier and more natural. As I type this I even think it sounds a bit silly to forget, but I did, I do and I’m sure that many other people do also.  When still living in an environment that speaks of the old it’s easy to forget the new. But the new will come, in my marriage and with God’s kingdom and until then we just need to remember privileges we already have.


(More articles at www.ThinkingThroughChristianity.com)

Photo by Hotel de la Paix Genève

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