I’ve never been interested in having my own children. I’m not sure why, but the parental passion that I see in others just isn’t in me. I’ve been told all of my life that this makes me selfish, but I’ve never believed it. No one ever complains that C.S. Lewis and Paul the Apostle were childless, do they?
Here’s only a few reasons that childless couples are not being selfish:
1 – We Do Take Care of Children
My wife and I know a lot of children, most of them nieces and nephews, and we’re very involved with some of them. An uncle can be a unique person in a person’s life, and I enjoy the role I get to play for these kids. I am able to be their friend and mentor, without being as much of an authority figure as a parent. (Sometimes, kids need that kind of interaction.) This means that they can tell me things that they might not tell a parent or a friend. Believe it, or not, I look forward to the time I get to spend with kids.
2 – Most Parents Wanted to Have Kids
Ask someone why they decided to have children and (assuming the pregnancy was not a surprise) they’ll probably tell you about how much they love being around them. These people like babies and look forward to the thrill of being called “Mom,” or “Dad.” That’s fine with me – if you want to have kids then I hope you’re able to have a lot of them – but it’s not exactly altruistic. Having children because you want to is nothing more than fulfilling your own desire. That’s not any less “selfish” than what I’m doing.
3 – Our Passions are Leading us Elsewhere
Having children means is time consuming – no parent would disagree – and we all have to decide what we will do with the time that we have. When I’m not at my full-time job, I’m working on a degree in Medieval Studies learning about church history. I use this knowledge to teach the church about our past, and I wouldn’t have time for that if I was taking care of children. If I were raising kids, I would also not be able to play music at local venues where my wife and I tell the story of Christianity through songs. And blogging would be difficult. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do all of it, and people who have never had a passion for raising a family can contribute a lot to society when they focus on what they love to do.